Parents Say the Darndest Things

My parents, the snowbirds, returned home from Florida last month; it’s so nice to have them back in New York. And yes, that GRANDPARENTS AT PLAY sign is hanging in front of their place in Florida.

When they first got home, my son and I stopped up to their house on the lake to help them unpack. However, according to them, it wasn’t necessary. They never want to bother anybody and they can do everything themselves, “…don’t cha know.”

At one point I saw my dad lifting a heavy box out of his van…“Don’t lift that box! It’s too heavy!” I yelled. To which he replied “I’m not lifting. I’m carrying.” Hmmm, really?

Then later he asks my son to get the ladder out from the garage and lean it up against the roof. And I’m thinking….”What the hell is he up to?”

He admits he plans on going on the roof to seal a skylight. I thought he was joking. He’s turning 80 this year and he’s going to climb onto his roof? Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus. However, this is the man that re-sided his entire house when he was 70.

Again, I interject. “Dad, you can’t go up there. It’s not safe, and it looks like there’s a soft spot near the skylight.” Then I get the ‘I know that…I’m not an idiot’ look from my father, right before he says… “Well… I’m not going near the soft spot!” 

Just then my mom chimes in “Oh, it’ll be fine. It’s just up there a bit.”

It’s just up there ‘a bit?’ The ROOF… is just up there ‘a bit?’ Wait now. What’s going on here? My mom usually backs me on these things. Oh for Pete’s sake she’s gone to the other side — my dad’s side — where 80-year-old men hang out on their rooftops fixing things. Even I wouldn’t do that …and I’m Sally O’Malley and I’m 50!

Sometimes I wish I could hire a camera crew to follow them around.
1. For safety reasons.
2. To record their conversations and see what they do.

For instance, a while ago my daughter told meexpecant mothers
that my dad accidentally parked in the EXPECTANT MOTHERS parking spot at the grocery store. To which my mom looked at him and said “Dick, is there something you’re not telling us?”

I must say, they are a riot. And I’m not going to be the one to tell them to act their age. 😉

One day I will post a list of “mom-and-dad-isms” because there is no doubt, it’ll be a great read.  🙂


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